Many Thoughts

First of all, yes, I do realize that I have not blogged since Christmas day. Sad I know. I have sat down and tried to blog a few times since then, but just have not been able to do it. What can I say? I'm not in the mood to blog, but maybe I can get some of my jumbled thoughts out this morning and tell you what has been going on!

Christmas was good - we enjoyed the time with our family. Ruth and Ron stayed until after the New Year, so we got to spend a week with them, a week with my parents, and a couple of days with my brother and his family. The day that Ruth and Ron left felt so strange to all of us after having everyone here for two weeks. I don't think any of us quite knew what to do with ourselves. But it didn't take long to settle back in to daily routines. On Monday, we were all back to school and work. I think it also felt strange to finally have my house all put back together. As soon as we finished up our kitchen and closet project we put all of the Christmas stuff up. Now we have all of that back down again and no more project to work on! After having your house in various stages of repair for about 7-8 months, it feels strange, but wonderful, to have it all put back together again! Craig is already talking about starting on the next one - more to come on that later!

My heart is a little heavy as we start this new year for several reasons, but I will share one of them with you. This year will bring about lots of changes for us and basically a new season of life. I have mixed emotions about it! Tyler will start Kindergarten in the fall and while I know that it is still eight months away the preparation has already begun for it. I will have two kids in school which makes me wonder - what will I do with myself??? I want to be occupied but I don't want really want to go back to work full time. So, we are working on some options for that and praying about what God wants me to do. My parents raised us to eventually let us go one day and be able to marry and live on our own, and I so want that with my children also. But, when I think about how they are growing up, it also makes me sad because I know their days of being independent and out on their own will come quicker than I am ready for. Already Kayla is changing stages and we have been talking about how fun she is. She can play cards with us, joke with us, and even interact with us in more grown up kind of conversations. We are moving from games like "Life" and "Operation" to Skip-Bo and Yahtzee and, yes, Dad, even Backgammon. She has thoughts and opinions on everything from the Bible to politics, and we are trying to shape her to really understand and back up those thoughts and opinions. And as if all of that isn't enought she came out for school this morning with her hair parted off to one side and coyly falling over one eye. My baby has a new "do"! The simple stud earrings are moving more into larger loops and dangles and more often than not, her lips are shiny with lip gloss! And, AND, she wants to know when she can shave her legs. When did this happen? Do you know when I started shaving my legs? When I was 10 - do you know how old she is going to be this year? 10. One more thing and then I'm done with the changes in her - she loves Starbucks! Okay, like, she would rather have coffee at Starbucks than ice cream at Brusters. A Vanilla Latte is her preference just in case you were wondering. She is growing up, but at least she is growing up with good taste! :)

And, what can I say about Tyler. My heart breaks a little bit when I think about him heading off to Kindergarten. He is writing his name now and loves to color and thanks to Ms. Janna is learning his letters and sounds with amazing speed. He came home from school yesterday and told me that a little boy at school was having his "conchills" out and that we needed to take him a teddy bear so he wouldn't be scared! This past week Craig had him on Kayla's old bike WITHOUT training wheels and he was riding around the yard. Granted, Craig was holding on to the back of the bike, but still, NO training wheels! He is Mr. Super Hero. Told me on the way home from church last night that he "really believed he had super powers" and it was because of the girl power found in riding his sister's bike! He cracks us up on a daily basis and I am so blessed in that, on occassion, he STILL lets me rock him to sleep.

Please don't misunderstand, I know that this is the natural progression of life, and come August I WILL take Tyler to Kindergarten, and I WILL be okay, but it does make me sad to think about. But more than that it makes me so aware of every moment with my kids these days and makes me want to slow down and cherish every second of every day. It makes me think about something that I read in a book a while back about the "Lasts". You know we celebrate all of the "firsts" don't we? The first tooth, the first step, the first night in a big bed, but what about the lasts - do we stop to cherish those. The last time your child lets you rock him to sleep, the last puppy dog kiss, the last nap in his crib, the last car ride in a car seat, the last bike ride with training wheels. Do you see where I'm going with this? I have a friend, and you know who you are, who has cherished every moment from the day her child was born. She has not rushed through phases. I've done okay on that with Tyler. With Kayla I think I rushed her a little bit, so I'm trying to slow down with her and take those moments that God gives us and cherish them.

So, that is a small part of where I am at right now. Aside from those things, God is teaching me so much right now about grace and trusting and seeking Him. We have been praying about some things and it is so overwhelming to me when I see God's clear answers. He is so personal, isn't He? Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you and His mercies are new every morning are the two verses that seem to be my theme right now.

Okay, I'm caught up for awhile I think! It always helps me to put my thoughts down "on paper"!